DMZ

This past Saturday, I headed up to the DMZ for a US military led tour. Seven other teachers and myself left at about 8 am and arrived in Seoul for the tour bus at around 10. The bus left Seoul City and drove along the Freedom Highway (the highway that leads up to North Korea) for about an hour. Once the Freedom Highway hits the North, it suddenly turns into a spiraling pit of quicksand. Jussst a joke. I don't know what it turns into. I wouldn't be here if I did.

Eventually we began seeing signs of border patrol. Barbed wire fences lined one side of the highway with military posts stationed periodically throughout.

The tour guide motioned to the left, across the Indian River, a body of water which separates parts of the South from the North. We saw our first North Korean territory. Honestly, the area looked like some distant planet. Completely lifeless. No trees, no people, no wildlife. No movement at all. Very strange. Our tour guide told us that Kim Jong Il uses all of the countries' trees for fuel. I think Lil' Kim from Junior Mafia would make for a more competent leader of North Korea. When male, world leaders got into arguments about North Korea's missile tests or their inability to function in the 21st century. She could offer up one of her famous quotes: “How can a man have beef with a woman? Whatever, that's just not cool.”

She would at least spruce up North Korea's strict dress code.

The rest of the tour was pretty long and drawn out. But the finale was worth the trip. We entered into a joint US/SK military base that was located directly on the border. The base is fairly large. Probably about 75 acres. Our American tour guide showed us a short powerpoint video and then brought outside the SK Freedom building. When the 40 of us stepped outside on to the terrace, a wall of deafening silence smacked us in the face. It was quieter than a mime in a library.

We were facing North Korea. The tension was unreal. It was about 20 feet away. About 10 feet away, directly on the border, there were three small buildings. Two of the buildings held negotiation rooms and the 3rd was known as the "monkey house." It was called the monkey house because North Korean commanders would send 10-15 NK soldiers into the building to make threatening gestures at South Korean generals as they were holding meetings. They would point the guns to their heads or move their hands across their throats. Very childish.

Also, there were two big buildings on either side of the line. They both face each other. We walked out of one; the Freedom Building. When both were first built, the Freedom was taller than the building on the NK side. Kim Jong Il would not be outdone. Quickly, he had a 3rd deck constructed on top of the 2nd. Now both structures are equal in size. Il also committed similar actions in a North Korean village. A 100 meter South Korean flagpole was given as a gift by SK officials to the small town. A nice gesture I think.

Il immediately ordered a North Korean flagpole to be constructed. 160 meters. The pole is enormous and the flag is so heavy it takes about 30-40 men to hoist it everyday. Talk about Napoleon complex.

There were also a couple other stories that our US tour guide told. While we were inside the negotiation room, he told us that once, during a meeting in this same room between Bush Jr. and a South Korean official, North Korean soldiers burst through a door thought to be locked. The soldiers grabbed the US and SK flags and stomped all over them. They also used them to blow their noses. I wonder what Bush said once they locked the doors back up?

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun. We went out into Seoul afterwards and enjoyed a nice night out in the Hongik University district. We danced in some western clubs, ate some Quiznos and had a Gwangju-esque return back to Chuncheon. Needless to say, I'm still exhausted and can't type anymore. Influenza is a real possibility. My mom is coming this weekend. Maybe she can put a warm cloth on my head and everything will be all right.

Here is a picture of me at the DMZ standing next to a South Korean soldier in North Korea.

I also have a video of me moon-walking in North Korea. I will post later.

My Block..Where everything is everything fashizi

Thought I'd let people know about the area surrounding my apartment. Although I can't actually talk to anybody, I still hear and see many things early in the afternoon and late into the night.

Directly across from my apartment window is another apartment building. Apartments in Chuncheon are like empty seats at a WNBA game. They're everywhere.

Anyway, next door, in early afternoons, I am serenaded by a young girl's voice. And she's not singing 2 pm or K-pop (Korean pop music). She sings American music. Her favorite is Alicia Keys, "I Keep On Fallin.' " Her voice is great and it sounds as if she is singing acapella. There have been a few times when I've considered dropping this English gig and referring her over to Tommy Mottola or some other big-time U.S. producer. Then I realized that its not only the voice that counts in America, but also the looks. Usually the looks more than the voice. Her window is about 6 feet up from mine, and sadly, I cannot see in. I'll probably never know what she looks like. Maybe she's American. Maybe she's 500 pounds.

I've also thought about singing along when she starts in on "Fallin'." I've actually turned up the song on my computer and considered pulling a Naked Gun sort of scene. Only without the breaking and entering part.

Directly below me is a restaurant that seems to never close. It's called Tudari. Kind of like a bar/cafe that mostly serves as a 24/7 house party.

At all Korean restaurants there are buttons at the table that customers can press when they are ready to order. The number of the table then lights up on a screen near the front and waiters/waitresses can make their way over to the table. It's a pretty useful tool. Better than yelling or snapping your fingers. Much more polite. Except at 3 am when I'm trying to sleep and all I hear is "ding!!...nayyy(yesss in Korean)" from the waiting staff.

I guess its better than the sounds I used to hear in the Bronx. "Ding!!...nayyy" is much safer than the sounds of car alarms, bottles smashing and gang wars. I do miss the latter sounds from college. Although violent, they really added some excitement to each and every night. These sounds coupled with the 4 am raucous return of fellow roommates from Mugzs, "Linger" by the Cranberries echoing quietly from Ha-Wises' room and Stop-1's metal doors crashing down into the pavement are all things I heard before I drifted off to sleep at 2426 Hoff. Guess I can't really complain about "Ding!!...nayyy" being loud. But I still like to complain about missing the sounds of senior year.

Also, my corner in Chuncheon seems to be a hotspot for fights. There was one such outbreak a couple of weeks ago that lasted from about 2:30-3:30 am. I couldn't really see too much from my window but it seemed like two guys were fighting over a girl. I actually stood up on my window sill and spider-manned along the wall to get a closer look. If the singing girl happened to look down out her window at that moment, she probably would've called 911 on me. I looked extremely suspicious. Size of Barry Bonds' head suspicious.

The way the girls were screaming you would've thought somebody was being murdered. I kind of wanted to do something to quiet them down. Maybe throw an egg into the middle of the quarrel. But then I realized I had nothing in my refrigerator.

The fight finally ended when the cops came and broke everyone up. The teacher who lives down the hall from me told me the next day that fights happen often on our corner. In American middle schools, fights happen in the parking lot. When someone wants to fight in Chuncheon they meet in front of Tudari. Guess they could use the "Ding!" from inside as a signal for a new round.

That's My Block.

Tuesdays Gone

That's right! No work this Tuesday. So instead of 2 holidays all year, I now have 3. Sadly, I only have one more after Tuesday. And its not Christmas. Not New Years Day. It is the Lunar New Year in February. Don't really know how to observe it. What exactly happens in the new lunar year? I guess I can stare at the moon for a couple minutes. Maybe say a Hail Mary? Eat some cheese?

Work at my Hagwon is cancelled Tuesday because ownership is going on strike. I guess there is an outcry from the public school system in Korea that Hagwons should be blamed for their bad reputations. Public school administrators are not getting enough productivity out of their students because they are up late going to class at or doing homework for their respective academies. Also, Hagwons cost a lot of money. Public school officials feel that this puts certain students at a disadvantage who cannot afford the extra attention and practice with English. The Korean government has taken the side of the public school. Hours must be cut and prices must be slashed.

I do feel that Hagwons are open too late. A 10:30 pm end to the day for 12 year old students is rough. But, the extra work and time is helpful. English is a very important commodity to these kids and their parents. Much of the time, Hagwons also provide a place for kids to go while their parents are working late into the evening. These institutions also need to make money..as do I. We'll see what happens. It doesn't sound too serious, but then again, I don't speak Korean.

Last time school students and government were involved in a protest:

Gangwon FC-Korean Futbol and ice skating

Went to a semi-pro soccer game in my town the other day. My city; Chuncheon (Gangwon FC), was playing against another city in Korea. Not sure of the name. I still cannot read Korean. But their colors were green and their fan section was amazingly jubilant. The only group I can compare it to would be the Sixth Man section at college basketball powerhouse: Fordham University. The faith and passion for their team was Jesuitic.

Gangwon FC turned out to be horrible. They lost 3-1. Their defense was non-existant and their strikers seemed to toe every ball that came their way. They needed some guidance. I think I noticed Coach Mick patrolling the sidelines. The other team also had two players from Central America who more or less took over the game.

I did get a hat though and finally have something to cover my poorly cut hair. Gangwon FC hat. Pretty nice. Green and white fitted. 15,000 won. Much better and more stylish than the 1988 New York Mets mesh hat I bought the first week I was here.

We all know that FC could probably defeat the Mets in baseball, but I have doubts over who would win in a soccer match. I think Gary Sheffield would be a tough guy to guard. Very dirty and probably very smelly. Probably spitting everywhere, too. He'd be kind of like that dinosaur who kills Wayne Knight (Newman) in Jurassic Park.

Santana could make a good goalie. He's very agile. Imagine his throws from the goal. Who would step in front of that? What if the Mets (as rumored) signed Milton Bradley and had a striking front line of Sheff, Bradley and maybe Ken Takahashi (to get some of that heated Asian rivalry into the situation). Intimidating. Fierce.

After the game, I went ice-skating. That's right. Ice-skating at an indoor rink down the street. I've never gone before, but after a couple beers at the game, felt it would be a great idea. So I went in with blue athletic shorts on and my new york botanical garden coat. First skate around, I fell flat on my back. A worker motioned for me to come over to him. He had me put on a bright yellow helmet.

So I returned to my free "skate" wearing bright blue athletic shorts, a green NYBG jacket and day-glow yellow helmet. Looked like a clown. I crept along the wall as groups of 6 year old boys and girls whizzed by me laughing. They weaved back and forth along the ice like seams on a baseball. I exited into the penalty box. Five minutes for humiliation.

By the end of the skate, I was actually doing a pretty good job. Very similar to roller-blading. When we left the rink, we took a cab back to our neighborhood feeling great. The day was over and we had done a lot. Went to chicken mania, ate some bbq food, had a couple more beers and headed to bed with a full stomach and happy outlook on life in Korea. Slept like King Tut (The Dead Version of course.)

I-taewon-der what I'm doing here?

Itaewon. Some believe it to be seedy. Some just say that it is an "experience." Not bad or good. Just "an experience." And that's exactly what it was for me. "An experience."

Itaewon has been around for years and is a major area for tourists. Lots of military personnel and civilians from America and Europe live in or visit the area. Home to about 22,000 people from all over the world. Place of trade, dining and entertainment.

Let me get to my experiences:

I experienced my first really good western meal at this place called "Helios." Hamburger, fries, wings. All delicious and needed after almost 2 months abroad. The restaurant also played western music. Heard some "Make Her Say" and "Killin' Me Softly(which unfortunately, as in America, always has a group of girls singing along and contrarily; killing bystanders quickly.)

But the food was great and our night seemed to be headed in the right direction.

Next we decided to head to a dance-club. Club Cancun. Seemed like a hit. We went in, but were very early. It was only 11 pm. It was here that I experienced my first White Russian. Why not do it while I'm in South Korea? It was pretty good. Although, I don't know how The Dude drank so many in Lebowski. A little bitter. Maybe my milk was just spoiled. Maybe it was milk from a cat.

Next, we headed down a road looking for something to do before the nightclub filled up. All of a sudden, I experienced my first African bazaar. Outdoor markets, African men and women selling jewelry and beads, kids running around barefoot waving empty beer bottles. It was very strange to see in the middle of Korea, but also pretty interesting.

After this, we headed down an alley. "...headed down an alley." Can't be good. And it was not. It felt like I was walking down Elm Street or into some Max Payne'd New York City scenario.

(Play video while reading bottom lines)

When the darkness fell, New York City (Itaewon) became something else, any old Sinatra(Moon Joon Ran) song notwithstanding. Bad things happened in the night, on the streets of that other city. Noir York City (Itaegone).Turn around, walk away, blow town. That would have been the smart thing to do. I guess I wasn't that smart-Max Payne (Me in Itaewon)

Broken windows, bad lighting, screams of terror, and scantily-clad women screaming at us to come into their dark, terrifying bars. Halloween had come one month early. I think I saw Lady Gaga peaking out one of the windows.

Once we had escaped this mistake, we came back out on to the main drag. We took a couple deep breaths and headed back towards Club Cancun. Guess you could say I experienced my first "weird alleyway."

The night was never really the same after that, and even in the club, we had some more troubles. It seemed difficult to distinguish a few of the women from men. This problem was handicapped even further by the 3rd and 4th white russian. We decided to leave this part of Seoul and head back home.

We got back around 2 am, picked up some tuna kimbaps (rice and tuna). I also grabbed a snickers bar and a gatorade to get some normalcy back into my situation. Went back to LW's and put on some Bob Marley- Three Little Birds. Felt much better.

Now, I'm not saying Itaewon is a bad place. But it's also not the best area to hang around late at night. It's got great food, good tunes and a mix of about 7 different cultures. Sometimes, you just feel like you walked on to a Tim Burton movie set and really don't understand what is going on or what is who. Let's just call it "an experience."

Here's to normal: