Monday, Monday

I was traveling down south this week for work. Gone from Tuesday to Friday.

Now, you'd think that one of the 3.5 days I was traveling would be the most interesting of the week. The most memorable. The coolest of the uncool post-college work week.

Surprisingly enough, Monday was the one day that stood out during this past week. Monday morning to be exact. Not really because it was cool or interesting. But because it was particularly awkward, uncomfortable and amusing.

It started out like any other Monday. Late. I snoozed my alarm 3 separate times and didn't make it into the shower until 7:15. Five minutes off my scheduled pace to ensure Lynch and Alex could get adequate shower/shave/Lady Gaga on the bathroom i-pod dance time. I was out by 7:40. Still had about 30 minutes before I had to leave for work. I grabbed my phone and set my alarm for 8 a.m. Quick nap before breakfast.

Lynch left a little before 8 to study for his CFA (Driver's Test) at work. That left Alex and myself. Just like during the holiday season, Alex is especially cheery on Monday mornings.

Alex and I ripped our sandwiches out of the fridge and threw them in our work bags. It was the first time I'd made a sandwich in about 2 weeks. I felt responsible and my wallet thanked me.

We headed to the elevator, slamming our apartment door behind us and cursing the long week ahead of us.

We hit the elevator button and after passing by us both on the way up and back down again, it stopped on the 7th Floor. By that time, our hallway neighbor had joined us for the ride down to the 1st floor.

Now, the only thing that makes a Monday morning worse is being forced into conversation with someone. Whether it's some bum on the subway, the Metro delivery woman or an old coworker you never actually liked.

Well, Alex and I were thrust into that position on this cold, Monday morning. We'd actually met this girl before in the same situation and already exhausted all conversation topics during the 5 minute walk to the 6 train. We had nothing more to say to her.

Neighbor: "Hey guys! How are you? I literally just woke up 10 minutes ago!" (lol!)

Alex: "Monday morning. Wish I never woke up."

Neighbor: Nervous laughter.

We continued to bombard the poor neighbor with Monday morning misery and senseless inside jokes. She had no idea what was going on. This continued up until the three of us were standing on the subway station. Once here, our isolating humor died down. Now only long, awkward pauses.

The subway pushed into the station, packed to capacity with people from all points north of 103rd Street. The car doors creaked open, but no one came out. Nobody was getting off in Spa-Ha. Where the players play and the ballers ball. Where Maria, Maria grew up. Where Blue Magic ran the boys in blue.

So Alex began forcing his way into the subway. LW needed to get into work. He flipped strollers, pushed old women to the floor and elbowed a homeless boy in the face. I watched all this from the platform with our neighbor. I suddenly realized I needed to follow Alex's lead. I couldn't be left with this girl. As mentioned before, all conversation topics had been explored.

I squeezed into a tiny space just as the doors were closing, leaving our neighbor alone. Just as our inside jokes had left her alone. But I had also left something else outside the dirty, unrelenting subway doors. Half of my work bag had become lodged in the unforgiving threshold. I tugged at my briefcase, but couldn't free it from the door's tight grasp. My sandwich? Completely crushed.

Alex and I couldn't stop laughing at the situation and the circumstances leading up to it. We reiterated why we should never have woken up or called in sick to the office. I vowed to never make a sandwich again. Other passengers on the subway also found our predicament funny and smirked at our misfortunes. They smiled! Smiles on a Monday morning in a New York City subway! Unheard of. Rare. Rare like Mr. Clean with hair.

The rest of my Monday was pretty uneventful. I spent a couple hours trying to scan a newspaper article at work and ate chicken burgers for dinner. But the Monday morning was definitely one of the more memorable yet. A time when laughter is hard to come by.

Here's to Mondays?