The Ewah-ild Side

Throughout my time in Korea, I've taught some interesting subjects in the classroom. The first term I discussed both the physical and psychological transformations experienced by Henry Jekyll in "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde."

I guess it really wasn't a discussion. The only parts that were of interest to my students were when Hyde curb stomped an old man and trampled a little girl.

In another class during the first term (history of rock and roll was the subject), I tried hard to make a connection with my class. For most, Rock and Roll might as well have been a pebble and buttered appetizer you receive before a meal. Korean Pop was all they cared about. G-Dragon was their "man?"

Alas, I showed them a clip of Fats Domino playing the piano and desperately declared "He is the G-Dragon of the 1950s. K-Pop would be nothing without Fats Domino."

Students: "Babo Teacher. (Clown Teacher) Very uugly. Like you."

Excellent.

During the 2nd term, I taught an upper-level class and delved into topics such as inflation and the history of money. Two topics I knew nothing about, and still don't.

I recall one class (topic was Biological Classification Systems, everyones favorite!), I could not spell "Linnaean", for The Linnaean System, on the board.

I misspelled it the first time I put it up and tried to nonchalantly fix it while answering a student's question. Again, I misspelled it. How many (e)s were there in this stupid word? Is it eaen? aean? How can these letter combinations be possible? I never knew Linnaean, but I hated him.

"Ok class, we're going to call it the L. System. This will facilitate quick note-taking."

Nice save.

Although there were some mishaps and cultural divides while teaching these higher-level classes, most of them went smoothly. The students spoke English well and asked pertinent questions.

But this term, I have entered the Ewah-ild side.

A place where the bathroom is anywhere you want it to be, where homework stamps turn children into yellow-top crack fiends from "The Wire" and where English is as dead as Samuel L. Jackson in "Deep Blue Sea."

The school of 5-10 year olds known as Ewah. I may be over-exaggerating a tad. Most of the classes aren't too bad.

Many of the kids CAN speak in clear phrases, disregarding the use of pronouns, articles and other important parts of speech.

As a result, I now have trouble remembering to use articles and basic grammar in normal conversations with friends.

"Weekend? What we do?"

But there are two classes (one class of ten 8-9 year old boys, one of five 5-7 year old boys) that I dread "teaching." Although, I know not to get too upset with the kids. They're full of energy and life. Who can blame them at that age?

However, there are times when I'm sitting at my desk and can hear these boys sprinting toward my classroom, their screams echoing through the CDI hallways. At these moments, I can only think of Gandalf''s speech from the "Fellowship of the Ring."

"They have taken the bridge...and taken the second gates. We've barred the door, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums, Drums. Cannot get out. Shadows move in the dark. We cannot get out...They're coming."