Dog Eat dog. Yes, eat the dog.

Dogs.

In America, they are man's best friend. They are fond companions, who will pick up your spirits when you feel down, deter criminals from breaking and entering and lick your face until it turns into an oversized prune.

For the most part, if your name is not Michael Vick, they love you and you love them. They show allegiance and respect to an owner like a son would to a father. They are part of the family. Sometimes even more so than an unfortunate-looking sibling or cross-eyed, binge-drinking uncle.

Golden retrievers, Beagles, Terriers, Miniature Schnowzas, Chow Chows. Heck, even Chinese Shar-Peis! Although, now we're beginning to look more and more like that unfortunate looking sibling.

One dog to stay away from- Lhasa Apsos. They may look cute and harmless, but will destroy your house and tear your family apart. Also, if you have any newborn babies lying around, they will try and eat them.

But generally, dogs are the staple pet in America. They are glamorized on TV, in films- "Lassie," "All Dogs Go To Heaven."

Has there ever been a movie about all humans going to Heaven? Never.

But there has been a movie about the evil nature of humans called "The Cannibal Holocaust."

Say those words again out loud.

Are there any two worse words in any language in the entire world?

It's true. Many times, especially on the silver screen, dogs are shone in a better light than our fellow man and woman.

I remember celebrating when the dog in "Dante's Peak" avoided the flowing lava and jumped safely into Pierce Brosnan's volcano-proof pickup truck.

However, I couldn't help but laugh when the stubborn Grandmother had both of her legs burned off in the acid lake.

Homeward Bound is another movie that gives human-like qualities to dogs.

- Go to the 7 minute mark.

But what about in Korea?

How are dogs treated?

Well, first off, they are eaten in many restaurants throughout the country. Probably more so in North Korea, where it's either dog meat or sand.

There is actually a dinner spot about 3 minutes from my house where you can order dog. It's right next door to the sweet egg bread stand. I still do not know what they put inside their bread.

Dog meat is supposedly good for your stomach and can also help cancer patients. I don't know how. Maybe the fact that you can eat Lassie for dinner makes conquering cancer seem like nothing.

Will I eat dog? I think so. Not because I have cancer or stomach problems, but because I feel like I have to. I'm in Korea. I've already eaten raw chicken and pig intestines. Dog seems like the next logical step.

After reading this, you may think this is the worst future a puppy can endure.

But....

Dogs that are not eaten in Korea are spray painted with whatever color the owner sees fit. I saw one the other day sporting a pink sweater over a bright yellow body. These pet dogs are generally smaller and kept in a woman's purse. The big hounds are taken into the kitchen.

South Korea. One place it is both natural and beneficial to be small. I guess.