DMZ

This past Saturday, I headed up to the DMZ for a US military led tour. Seven other teachers and myself left at about 8 am and arrived in Seoul for the tour bus at around 10. The bus left Seoul City and drove along the Freedom Highway (the highway that leads up to North Korea) for about an hour. Once the Freedom Highway hits the North, it suddenly turns into a spiraling pit of quicksand. Jussst a joke. I don't know what it turns into. I wouldn't be here if I did.

Eventually we began seeing signs of border patrol. Barbed wire fences lined one side of the highway with military posts stationed periodically throughout.

The tour guide motioned to the left, across the Indian River, a body of water which separates parts of the South from the North. We saw our first North Korean territory. Honestly, the area looked like some distant planet. Completely lifeless. No trees, no people, no wildlife. No movement at all. Very strange. Our tour guide told us that Kim Jong Il uses all of the countries' trees for fuel. I think Lil' Kim from Junior Mafia would make for a more competent leader of North Korea. When male, world leaders got into arguments about North Korea's missile tests or their inability to function in the 21st century. She could offer up one of her famous quotes: “How can a man have beef with a woman? Whatever, that's just not cool.”

She would at least spruce up North Korea's strict dress code.

The rest of the tour was pretty long and drawn out. But the finale was worth the trip. We entered into a joint US/SK military base that was located directly on the border. The base is fairly large. Probably about 75 acres. Our American tour guide showed us a short powerpoint video and then brought outside the SK Freedom building. When the 40 of us stepped outside on to the terrace, a wall of deafening silence smacked us in the face. It was quieter than a mime in a library.

We were facing North Korea. The tension was unreal. It was about 20 feet away. About 10 feet away, directly on the border, there were three small buildings. Two of the buildings held negotiation rooms and the 3rd was known as the "monkey house." It was called the monkey house because North Korean commanders would send 10-15 NK soldiers into the building to make threatening gestures at South Korean generals as they were holding meetings. They would point the guns to their heads or move their hands across their throats. Very childish.

Also, there were two big buildings on either side of the line. They both face each other. We walked out of one; the Freedom Building. When both were first built, the Freedom was taller than the building on the NK side. Kim Jong Il would not be outdone. Quickly, he had a 3rd deck constructed on top of the 2nd. Now both structures are equal in size. Il also committed similar actions in a North Korean village. A 100 meter South Korean flagpole was given as a gift by SK officials to the small town. A nice gesture I think.

Il immediately ordered a North Korean flagpole to be constructed. 160 meters. The pole is enormous and the flag is so heavy it takes about 30-40 men to hoist it everyday. Talk about Napoleon complex.

There were also a couple other stories that our US tour guide told. While we were inside the negotiation room, he told us that once, during a meeting in this same room between Bush Jr. and a South Korean official, North Korean soldiers burst through a door thought to be locked. The soldiers grabbed the US and SK flags and stomped all over them. They also used them to blow their noses. I wonder what Bush said once they locked the doors back up?

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun. We went out into Seoul afterwards and enjoyed a nice night out in the Hongik University district. We danced in some western clubs, ate some Quiznos and had a Gwangju-esque return back to Chuncheon. Needless to say, I'm still exhausted and can't type anymore. Influenza is a real possibility. My mom is coming this weekend. Maybe she can put a warm cloth on my head and everything will be all right.

Here is a picture of me at the DMZ standing next to a South Korean soldier in North Korea.

I also have a video of me moon-walking in North Korea. I will post later.