Secret Admirer

So for the past couple days, I thought I had a secret admirer in my midst. Somebody who wanted a taste of that English teaching, Cool Ranch Dorito eating, 12 minute mile running human specimen. I was excited. Excited about the secret admirer but not about the gifts she was leaving on my desk at school.

The first day it was a bottle of carrot juice and a small bag of brown rice carefully placed around a tiny bag of ice to keep the juice cold. It was a little odd. Usually secret admirers leave candies or a note or something romantic. Carrot juice didn't really get my heart pumping. But maybe in Korea it was the equivalent. Also, maybe this was nothing. Possibly a practical joke.

The next day I walked into the my classroom and found two juices in a bag. Carrot and

pomegranate. This time, I knew something was up and talked to 3 other teachers about it. They were excited by the mystery and offered their help in finding the mystery girl. Students were ruled out because they all left before I left at night and weren't allowed in the building untiltheir class actually started in the morning. Cleaning lady? Could be.

Cleaning man? Hope not.

There were also the Korean secretaries who worked in the office. But I had never really noticed any look of loves or batting of the eyelashes. So I went outside my classroom in front of the secretary desks and began drinking the carrot juice (which I hate). I gulped it down, hoping to get some laughs or looks. Nobody blinked. Not one woman flinched. All that carrot disgustingness for nothing. I felt sick and embarrassed but knew that my eyesight had just gotten about 10 times better.

After my first class, I went into the break room to chat with fellow teachers. My breath smelled of liquid carrot. I told one teacher about my secret admirer story. To my disappointment, he shut down the chance that I had one.

Turns out the carrot juice was something that was supposed to be in his room. He, along with another teacher, got juice delivered every morning to their rooms. Don't know why carrot juice is the go-to. Guess carrot juice breath would keep the kids far away from your desk.

So no admirer. It was tough news to take. Tougher than a fat birthday boy with no cake. Oh well. I'm better off. Probably would've blown it anyway. What would I leave her if she left me carrot juice? What is the equivalent vegetable juice that you never want to drink? Celery juice?